He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
