That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
