You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
