Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize