I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
