Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
