Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
