Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
