I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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