I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
