we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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