New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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