I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
