i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
