Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
