so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
ok first of all what the fuck
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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