Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Randomize
