dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
