Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
