We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
