I accidentally burped into my bong.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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