how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
