She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
