We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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