Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
