This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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