So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
