I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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