Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
