I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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