I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
