check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
