nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
