doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
