Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
