I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
