she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
