Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
