Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
