soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
