I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
