We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
