there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
