Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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