The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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