She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
