I wish you could order shots online.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
