i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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