Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
