So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
