I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize