My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
