Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
