i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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