i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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