careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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