I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
