adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It's official drugs can't kill me
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
