I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
