Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
