You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
