How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize