Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
