I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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