so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
