You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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