p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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