Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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