Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
How external is "for external use only"?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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