Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
