belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
