New invention idea: vibrating tampons
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
