Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
